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Operation: Cooties/Transcript
|General}} /OnLine|OnLine}} /Lists|Lists}} /Trivia|Trivia}} /Quotes|Quotes}} /Photos|Photos}} /Transcript|Transcript}} }} ---- ---- Scene I : The Penguins Habitat Skipper: Now, for today’s training, I thought we mixed it up with a little treat from the land of the rising sun. Private: Ooh, Long Island? Kowalski: Actually, Japan. Also known as "Nippon" which in the native tongue means "Sun Origin", thus…. Skipper: Kowalski, put a quarter in the showoff jar, please? Private jiggles the jar and Kowalski puts a quarter in it, while mumbling angrily. Skipper: Now as I was saying, Today we... Rico regurgitates a sumo wig. Rico: Hai! Sumo! (Claps once.) Skipper: Correctamundo! Marlene appears with leaves. Marlene: Hey, guys! Guys! Check this out. I found these leaves by the fence, that are like organic moisturizers. Marlene wipes the leaves on her face like moisturizers. Marlene: Ahah. Yes, Uhuh. They have this oil on them, they really make your coat shine. Marlene hands it to Private, Private wipes some to his face. Private: Ooh, I am a little dull sometimes. Kowalski: Here, let me give it a go... Kowalski rubs a little on his face. Kowalski: Greasing, tingly. Ooh, refreshing! Rico bumps Kowalski. Rico: Hoo! Rico rubs the leaves on his armpit and then his body. Rico: Greasy, tingly... heewee! Woohaaahaha! Skipper: (Annoyed.) If everyone’s finish with their beauty treatments. Can we sumo now? Kowalski, Private and Rico stands tall, Rico eats the leaves. Rico: (Chews.) Num, num, num, num. They then hear someone coming, Rico hides his wig, and Marlene dives into the water to make her exit. Scene II : The Lemur Habitat Alice is talking to some children. Alice: Alright! Fun time’s over, back to the bus. Kids acting mean to Alice like paper ball spitting and two kids put a paper with eyes on her butt. Alice: Eh! A kid with an orange shirt and kid with blue green shirt giggle. Julien sips while Maurice gives a massage using his feet. Julien: Oh, Maurice, (Burps.) entertaining the masses is so punishing with burden of my ridiculous awesomeness and such things. Mort tries to touch Julien’s feet but instead he lands on the floor because he lifted his feet. Mort: Ahhhhh! (While falling.) Oh! Maurice: Heavy hangs the head and wears the crown. Kid #1: Cooties! Julien: Thank you... Say what now? Kid #2: No! No! Get away from me! Kid gets touch by a female kid. Kid #2: Ahh! Cooties! You gave me cooties! Julien stares at the kids. Boys: No! No! Kid runs around while getting chased by a girl. Julien: Never, ever, I have felt such terror in my toes! Mort suddenly hugs the toes. Julien: Mort! Must you make bad go to the worse? Julien kicks Mort off his feet. Mort: Weeeee! Scene III : The Penguins Habitat (Exterior) The penguins are about to sumo. Skipper: Rico! Rico: Hoi! Hah! Hai! Grrr! Rico stomps twice and claps once wearing a sumo diaper and a sumo wig. Skipper: Kowalski! Kowalski is looking at his whiteboard and writing while in the same atire that Rico is wearing. Kowalski: According to the circumference of my belly, (Lifts his belly, then drops it.) victory is mine. (Stomps his feet once.) Skipper: Private! Private wearing a refree hat lets the sumo match begin by waving his fan. Rico: Waaaaaa…! Kowalski: Grrrrraaa…! Rico/Kowalski: Ahhhhh!!!!! They are about to bump each other when Mort lands between them. Mort: Oowwwwww!!!!! Private: I think that maybe a penalty, but I’m not sure who gets it. Private scratches his head and Julien and Maurice sneaks in the penguins’ habitat while grabbing some of their stuff. Skipper: Hey! Julien: Huh? Julien drops the items while the penguins spring into action. Julien: Oh, hello neighbors. I am needing to be borrowing some of your gadgets, gizmos and whuzits Maurice: Seems the humans are spreading something called, "cooties". Julien: Yes! (jumps on Skipper's head) Which is why we’re needing your sciencey things to keep the royal body strong and you cootiness. Julien finds some leaves on the floor and picks one up. Julien: Ooh!! These are quite nice for my kingly crown, ya. That’s nice.... And so borrowing is Uh ,ok. Yes... Julien sees kids running and yelling. Julien: Ahhh!!!! There they are!!!! Run for your lives! It's spreading!! Kids: Aaahhhhhh!!!!! Kid #3: She gave me cooties! He bumps a larger kid. Larger kid: Ewww... Now I got it!! Skipper: Great Barrier Reef! Skipper removes Julien from his head and lands on Mort. Julien: Now do you see? As your beloved king, I order you to do your civic duty to protect my royal hide…… Mort: And see! I’m it!! Mort hugs Julien’s tail and wraps around his body. Skipper: Kowalski, cootie analysis. Kowalski: Judging by the anguish cries of the boy children, it appears the females spread the virus by mere touch. Private: Wait! You mean if I touch a girl, I could get cooties. Kowalski: Odds are somewhere between... posi-lutely to abso-tively. Private: Huah... Private faints and suddenly asks. Private: What are cooties exactly? Julien: Yeah, and more importantly, how will we be knowing which of the girls are having them? Marlene can be seen tickling Burt who is relaxing. Marlene: (laughing) Oh, you just a precious pachyderm aren't you... (while itching) Ha! Ow ,Huh Julien: The otter has the cooties!! Skipper slightly hits King Julien. Skipper: Shh! We have to watch Burt for symptoms. For all we know, Marlene's already infected him. Looks in the scope as Burt scratches his head. Penguins/Lemurs: COOTIES!! Julien: (panics) The otter has the cooties! What do we do, what do we do?! Wait, wait, I am having a storm inside my brainy parts. First, we’ll... (he sees that the penguins are gone) huh...oh...ah... Ok now that is just rude when you haven’t heard of the storm called “Genius”, my plan. Marlene appears while Maurice and Mort, nervously point from behind. Marlene: Whatcha doing? Julien: Oh!!... Nothing... eh... just you know screaming in terror. ... hehe ... Julien looks at Marlene in terror. Julien: Gi..gi... gir... GIRL!!!! Marlene: Uh... yeah... Hey! Could you do me a favor? I got this rash... Julien dodges Marlene. Marlene: ...could you ju... I just want… Julien: (says very fast) The otter got the cooties! The otter got the cooties, everyone run cause the otter has the cooties! Ah!! The otter has the cooties!!! The otter has the cooties!! Gagagagaga!!! Julien rides on Maurice. Julien: Keep your cuckoo cooties away from me!! Mort, take one for the team. Julien gives Mort to Marlene. Mort: I’m sacrificial. Julien: Onward Maurice! We must find someone to protect us... Eh, by us I mean me… Julien and Maurice leave. Marlene: (upset) Okay, fine. (drops Mort and leaves) I can take a hint. Mort begins itching and got caught on a rope. Mort: Ow! Scene IV : The Penguins HQ (Interior) Skipper:QUARANTINE!!! Skipper puts Mort in a box and puts a biohazardous sticker on it. Skipper: Now look, if we don’t put a lid on this thing we could looking a replay at the loudening outrage. Kowalski: The pandaemic?! Oh my stars and garters! Skipper: Kowalski, language. Private’s present. Kowalski: Skipper, Marlene was in our habitat today. We could all be infected and not even know it! Kowalski, Private and Rico panics. Skipper slaps them making Kowalski’s mask get off. Kowalski breaths deeply and grabs Rico’s mask. Rico regurgitates a plunger, a bird cage, and a fish bowl, making him put it on his head. Skipper: None of us are itching, so obviously none of us have cooties Private: Right! Well, that’s a relief. Oi, what’s this? Mm... Private itches slightly. Skipper notices. Skipper:QUARANTINE!! Skipper puts Private in the Quarantine box, Private sits on Mort. Private: (sadly and nervously) Oh dear. Scene V : The Gorilla Habitat Julien and Maurice are talking to the gorillas Bing: You wish to have us protect you from what now gababu? Marlene: Hey! Can someone get my back? Julien: Oh, hey Marlene….. Maurice/Julien: COOTIES!! AH!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! Maurice and Julien run away. Marlene scratches her back on a tree then switches to her belly. Marlene: Ahah... Ahah...ha... ha... ha... ahah ah haha... yeah.... Bada and Bing leave. Scene VI : The Chimpanzee Habitat The chimps are playing Checkers. Mason makes his move. Mason: Ha! King me. Julien jumps from nowhere, ruining the chimps' game of checkers. Julien: The otter has the cooties!! Mason: Wrong king. Julien: Be afraid! She’s coming. Phil asks "who" in sign language Julien: '''The cootie otter that’s who. She will touch you, then you will have the cooties too... '''Marlene: Guys? Julien: Oh, hey Marlene. How’s it... WAH! Julien runs away. Marlene: I could use a hand, actually all four.... If just get your fingers... in the Mason: Ugh! (he and Phil climb higher) Would you please take your contagious cooties in self-quarantine? Marlene: Con-Contagious? Wait, cooties? Is that why I am itching? (on the urge of tears) Oh no I got cooties! Scene VII : The Zoovenir Shop Fade in. Julien and Maurice are covering the door with plush animals. Julien begins itching vigorously. Julien: Ugh. Ah. eh. Okay. It’s here we make our brave last stand. Maurice, you will be like the famous Davy Crockett of the Alamo and I will be the guy nobody ever heard of... because he lived. Maurice: All-he right... Davy Crocke— eh, what?! Scene VIII: The Penguins HQ The clock ticks as the penguins react to every tick. Skipper watched Kowalski and Rico in suspicion while Kowalski and Rico crave to itch. Later the clock stops ticking. Mort: It’s quiet... (suspiciously) Too quiet…. The clock ticks again. Kowalski says to himself in his thought. Kowalski ': Don’t scratch the beak! Don’t scratch the beak....ugh.. ''Skipper suspects Kowalski being in discomfort and says to himself in his mind. 'Skipper ' Look at him, he’s just crawling with cooties. 'Kowalski ': Maybe a little baby scratch.... (outloud) No no.. Don’t scratch the beak! Kowalski itches his beak like crazy. ''Kowalski'':' Aih!! Ah Alilulala!!.... ''Kowalski continues scratching, Skipper suspects him having cooties. Kowalski turns to Skipper with guilt. Kowalski: Oh... (realizes he's been busted) Skipper: QUARANTINE!! Skipper puts Kowalski in quarantine box. Mort brags to Kowalski. Mort ''': Who’s the smart one now? '''Skipper: Well, sorry for the rubs up boys but this crisis must be contained in all cause. Rico regurgitates a back scratcher to scratch his back behind Skipper’s back. Skipper : Anyone, who shows some slighter symptoms, has to be isolated. Right, Rico? Rico tosses his back scratcher away when Skipper turned to him. Rico : Ya! Tha.. right! Be isolated….! Rico regurgitates a rake to scratch his body while Skipper discusses. Skipper ''': We got to think of the big picture here, protecting the entire zoo. Right, Rico? ''Rico tosses the rake away as Skipper turns to him. '' '''Rico: Huh? Oh! Ohahaha, Yeah!! Skipper ': Good man. ''Rico regurgitates a cactus and begins scratching. '''Skipper : No exceptions. Kowalski shows Skipper their reflection through a mirror revealing Rico itching behind Skipper’s back. Rico : Ahahaha…. Skipper : Right, Rico? Skipper turns behind him and finds Rico holding a cactus. Rico: Huh? Ahheheehe…. (throws away the cactus) No exception… Skipper ''': QUARANTINE!! ''Cuts to the scene showing the Quarantine Box is crowded. '' '''Private : I don't suppose someone could scratch my toes. Skipper : Skipper’s log: My loyal men... Mort: (interrupts) Hi. '' '''Skipper' : And Mort have been infected by the calamitous— Marlene barges in saying....... Marlene : COOTIES!! She itches hardly and '''madly. '''Kowalski: AH! She’s gone mad! Private: Hi Marlene. Marlene: Someone just scratch my back…… (sees the box) And what’s with the box? Skipper : Marlene! What do you...you...? Here? In our home?! How unexpected in a...a... no way horrifying. Marlene : Yeah, yeah. That’s great. Look, I don’t care what kind of (making a creepy, spooky face) top secret stuff you have to do but, you gotta get rid of this cooties! Can you zap me with one of these...doohickies...or... (runs off and comes back with a device) What about this one? (yells) COME ON MAN! GET ME A CURE!! '' ''Skipper begins running from Marlene, panicking. Skipper: Huhhuhuh… Marlene: Get back here!! Skipper keeps on dodging Marlene as they chase around the HQ.' ' Skipper: Huhuhu… Marlene: Ha! Argh..! N..!! Private: This might be a bad time but I reeaalllyy appreciate that toe scratch. After a lot of fuss Skipper finds a bomb under one of the pillows and blows it up giving him means to escape, but Marlene touches him'' '' Marlene: Found ya!! Skipper pathetically whines…'' '' Skipper: I’m infected!! Let me in!! Ahihihi….(in a crying manner) Skipper attempts to get in quarantine but he doesn’t fit inside the box. Marlene stares in oblivious then gets annoyed and leaves the HQ, she also scratches her back on the wall and exits. Scene IX : The Otter’s Habitat She arrived in her habitat feeling sad since no one helped her. Suddenly she itches. Marlene: Huh! Eeh!! Eh! Alice: Huh? Alice happens to pass by, noticing Marlene itching then she changes to wear a quarantine suit. She grabs Marlene and calls to her Walkie Talkie. '' '''Alice': Code 83! I repeat ! Code 83! She turns off her Walkie Talkie. Cut to Penguins’ HQ. Scene X:The Penguins HQ (Interior) The penguins including Skipper and Mort are still in the quarantine box. Kowalski: I, uh, don't want to alarm anyone, but, I went all in on the broccoli for lunch today. (grumbling sound is heard) Private: Ugh... (while getting squished) They suddenly heard a loud cry from far away. Marlene(os): Ahhh!!!!!! Private: What was that? Skipper: Top side! Pronto! The penguins immediately gets out of the Quarantine Box. Leaving Mort squashed on the floor as he scratches his little head. Scene XI:Penguins Habitat (Exterior) They went to the HQ’s exterior and they started itching. Alice sees the penguins itching and grabs them. Skipper: Brace yourself boys this is gonna... Scene XII: The Veterinarian's Office Cuts to the penguins having a relaxing oatmeal bath with Marlene. Skipper: Hit the spot. (relaxed) Oh! Yeah... Haa... Kowalski: This oatmeal bath seems to be curing our cooties. (Rico tastes the oatmeal) Rico: Mmm... Skipper: Marlene, I feel we owe you an apology for being we're stay away from you.'' '' Marlene: Okay, go ahead... (puts on a cute face) Skipper: We owe you which means you'll get it at some future date... When's your birthday? The vet observes the leaves they found by Marlene’s habitat. Veterinarian: No doubt about it... Poison Ivy. Kowalski overhears about this. Kowalski : Poison Ivy?! Private : Which is not cooties is it? Kowalski : (angrily) No, in fact it would be Marlene’s so-called "moisturizing plant"! Marlene: Oh, so the stuff I thought was gonna help, actually... that my friends is ironic. Ahah. The penguins looks angrily at Marlene. Marlene: Whoopsies. (giggles) Rico pokes Marlene on the bottom. Rico: (angrily) Grr... Marlene: (rubbing her bottom) I'm sorry. Private: Shouldn't, ah, someone tell Julien the cootie truth? Skipper: Eh, no rush Private. Scene XIII: The Zoovenir Shop The scene cuts to the Zoovenir Shop. King Julien, Maurice, and the other zoo animals itches. King Julien: Uh... (itches ) Curse... you... COOOOOOOOOOTIEEEEESSS!!!!.......... The scene fades to black. ---- END OF EPISODE ---- Category:Transcripts